Is This Me? The 3-Word Question That Changes Everything

I was standing in my kitchen at 6:30 AM, coffee mug next to me, when I caught myself agreeing to helping mix a song for a friend when I had zero bandwidth. I hit the send button “Yeah, of course. Send it over" while something in my chest was quietly screaming no.

This was yet another action that led to me realizing that I had been living unconsciously for so long. I had forgotten to check if the person making decisions was actually... me.

We make thousands of decisions daily, most happening unconsciously. We're not alone in this. And we don't have to stay there.

The Space Between Stimulus and Response

There's this moment when someone asks you something. Or your phone lights up with a notification. Or a decision needs to be made. 

In that split second before you respond, there's space. Most of us rush right past it.

Stephen Covey wrote: "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." Though often misattributed to Viktor Frankl, this insight captures a fundamental truth about conscious choice making.

But what if we didn't rush past that space?

What if, in that tiny gap between what happens and how we react, we paused and asked: "Is this me?"

Not "What should I do?" or "What would make them happy?" or "Let’s me just say yes because I’d rather deal with the discomfort of doing it over the discomfort of saying no "

Just: Is this me?

Why These Three Words Work When Everything Else Doesn't

I've tried the morning affirmations. I've downloaded the meditation apps. I've journaled my way through more "journals" before falling off again. And here's what I learned: most self-help tools tell you what to think or how to feel without taking you into account.

This question does something different.

It doesn't tell you anything. It simply asks you to notice.

"Is this me?" works as what we call a ShiftTrigger™. A conscious choice mechanism that activates within The Blink™ (that space between stimulus and response) to enable a BlinkShift™.

The question works because it addresses a challenge in self-awareness: most people aren’t actually self-aware, even though they might believe they are.

The phrase is about catching yourself in the act of being someone you're not and then choosing differently.

The question works because it's:

• Fast enough for real life (3 seconds, not 30 minutes)
• Specific enough to cut through mental noise
• Gentle enough to use without judgment
• Universal enough to apply to anything

The Moment Everything Shifts

What can happen when you start asking "Is this me?"

That text you were about to send in frustration? You pause. Is this me? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe there's a response that feels more like who you actually are.

That ‘yes’ you were about to say you’re not comfortable doing so? You notice. Is this me? The part of you that always says yes to avoid conflict? Or the part that knows what you actually need?

The question doesn't judge your impulses. It just creates space to recognize them.

This Isn't About Perfect Choices

"Is this me?" isn't a magical phrase for making perfect decisions. Sometimes you'll ask the question and still choose the same thing. You might realize you're acting from fear or people-pleasing or old patterns. And that's okay. The point isn't to eliminate every inauthentic moment. It's to start noticing them.

Because awareness is where choice begins.

When you catch yourself mid-pattern, you suddenly have options you didn't see before. Not because the situation changed, but because you remembered you could choose differently.

The Ripple Effect You Don't See Coming

When you start asking this question regularly, the question begins to change not just your responses, but your entire relationship with choice itself.

This is what Intentional Living actually looks like. You stop feeling like life is happening to you and start noticing how often you're actually the one calling the shots. And from this space things you’re looking for deep down start to materialize.

That friend who always makes you feel drained? You realize you've been saying yes to hanging out with what doesn't align with how you want to spend your time.

That job that feels wrong? You notice you've been accepting a version of success that was never really yours.

That relationship dynamic that frustrates you? You catch yourself participating in patterns you thought were just "how things are."

The question reveals something profound: most of the time, we have more choice than we think. We just forget to check.

When you consistently ask "Is this me?" you begin to Blink True™. Showing up as your authentic self rather than the version you think others expect.

How to Use It (Without Overthinking It)

Start small. Really small.

Before you respond to that text, ask: "Is this me?"

Before you order that thing online, pause: "Is this me?"

Before you agree to that plan, notice: "Is this me?"

This helps develop "emotional awareness," one of the key components of self-awareness. You don't need to analyze or judge your answer. Just ask and see what comes up.

Sometimes the answer will be "Yes, this is exactly me." Perfect. Proceed.

Sometimes it'll be "No, this is my anxiety talking." Also perfect. Now you know.

Sometimes it'll be "I honestly don't know anymore." That's perfect too. Not knowing is the beginning of curiosity.

The practice builds what we call Functional Mindfulness™. Awareness that works within real life rather than requiring perfect conditions.

The Question That Becomes a Compass

Over time, "Is this me?" becomes less like a technique and more like a state of being. You start to recognize the difference between decisions that align with who you are and ones that come from old patterns, fear, or the urge to please others.

You begin to trust yourself in ways you didn't know were possible.

Not because you're making perfect choices, but because you're making conscious ones that feel genuinely yours. What we call Blink True™.

And consciousness that split second of awareness before you react might be the most important freedom that we tend to take for granted.

One pause at a time. One choice at a time. One moment of asking: "Is this me?"

Try it today. Before you respond to that message. Before you say yes to that request.

Just pause and ask: "Is this me?"

See what happens when you remember you get to choose who you are in each moment.

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Related Reading

• What is Intentional Living? - The philosophy behind conscious choice-making

• Blink True™: Living in Alignment With Your Authentic Self - When your actions match who you really are

• The Blink Method™: Your 4-Step Guide to Conscious Living - The complete framework for transformation

• What is Functional Mindfulness™? - Understanding awareness that works in real life